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Monday, April 4, 2011

I've Got It Together

I find myself often frustrated by the lack of transparency amongst those I know (including myself).  I wonder, why don't people want to be who they are?  I think that sometimes we are afraid to admit our problems and struggles.  We can be afraid that the person who we are pouring our hearts out to will look at us blankly.  Or worse--in judgment.

I am a person that people tell their stuff to.  I have wondered how this happened to me--that people started telling me their problems.  I don't think it's because I am some kind of all-knowing advice-giver.  I don't think it's always because I am a good listener (still need some work there, too).  It isn't because I am extra-spiritual or godly or holy (if only).

It might be because I am imperfect.

You heard me right.  I am not perfect.  I can easily admit to you that I struggle with controlling my words.  With more difficulty, I admit that I struggle with all sorts of temptations.  If Hugh Jackman brought me a giant plate of bacon right now, I would have a hard time remaining calm.

There is value in being real.

We are all longing for someone we can talk to.  It's wonderful to think, This person gets me!  And...still likes me!

Isn't that what we all want?  I am like everyone else, and I hold things back.  I don't necessarily want everyone to see how messy I really am.  It's scary.  But I do know that all of the genuine friendships I have are full of messiness and imperfection.  Confessing things to one another really does help adjust our perspective.  We are ALL struggling.  Some people are good at hiding it.  But no one has it together.  And isn't that when God can get in there and do some of his best work?

Special thanks to Dan for the link to this song.


  1. Boy howdy.
    and of course: mmm-hmmm.

  2. Well, if you're going to bring up Andy, how about Jill?

    I think it's all about the love. Carrie, I know that I can be transparent with you because you've seen me on yucky days and I know that you love me anyway. You don't disappear when you see my ugliness (for some reason), so I can trust you. I also know I can trust you because you eat real butter, but that's a different conversation.

  3. I like how Heather mentions butter. I love her and you and, honestly, butter. Anyway, I think she hit the nail on the head. It's all about unconditional love. It's a little glimpse of Jesus, and who wouldn't be drawn to that? Like a moth to a flame, we're all 'into you'.

  4. I LOVE this!!! Yes! I had someone leave a comment a while back on my blog that it's nice to know I have problems because sometimes people with an "online persona" seem perfect -- that FLOORED me! 'Perfect' is the LAST word I would use to describe myself.

    LOVE LOVE LOVE your transparency and this post. Thank you!


  5. I feel like i've stumbled across some extremely scary women in the past few years of my relationships. Women who seem like those amazing, authentic, "real" girls. The ones who tell you there junk and share in the pooh with you. The kind who love encouragement and kinship and sisterhood. The ones who look you right in the eye, hold you hand, and make you feel like you're not alone.

    Sounds like a dream, right?
    That's what I thought. And then something happens. The insecurity of being over exposed, maybe? I don't know. But twice i have had these kinds of "Sisters" eat my face off, for lack of a better explanation. Slap me in the face, tear my hear out, and then take everything I've ever shared (including encouragement, prayers, and true love) twist into a mess of lies and hoist it at me and my family.
    Dead painful.

    Right now I am scared. My son wants playdates and get togethers. And there are women all around me, available. Even friends of ours who I am now more leery around than is fair.
    I just don't feel ready.
    I pray that God will heal and show me just where to step next, and how.

    Until then, I'm pretty broken in the "friend" area.
    Not sure why I'm sharing all of this here.
    Your post just made me think...

  6. You love me even though I don't always use real butter. That's true friendship there.


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